Thankful...

Thanksgiving has come and gone.  Yes I said Thanksgiving has come and gone.  For me, this time of year seems to fly by.  Before long, Christmas will have come and gone and it will be 2012.  It seems like just yesterday it was 2010 and Carter was being born.  I have always heard that having a child makes time go by faster and boy is that right!  With time flying by I felt that it was time for a “time-out”.  I have been so wrapped up making sure Carter’s PICC line looks ok or his NG tube is in the right place that I have not made time to voice how grateful I am.  So here it goes.

God I am so thankful for all that you have given me.  You have blessed me with a loving family and a wonderful husband.  Although I may not always see it, I am blessed beyond my childhood imagination.  I remember growing up and daydreaming of the big house I would have or the awesome car.  I would have the best clothes and a huge closet that still would not fit them all.  I would have the biggest ring and the best shoes.  I just knew everything would be perfect.  I would get married and have lots and lots of babies. I always loved babies and just knew I would have at least three.  Birth defects? I didn’t even know what that word meant.  I of course was too cool to have a child born with birth defects.  Children like that were only given to other people that I would hear about every once in a while.  I would usually think oh how sad and go on with my life.  Of course, there were the children you heard about being sick all of the time.  After about the fifth time of hearing it, I would begin to think Lord is this child ever going to get better?  Or are his parents just crazy and want everyone’s attention? Lord heal this child so I don’t have to hear about it anymore!

It sounds awful I know.  But, that was me.  Concerned only about myself or the football game I would cheer at on Friday night.  Now here I sit, on the other side of the table. I don’t have a huge mansion, the best clothes or biggest closet.  All I have is love.  Overwhelming love for my God.  My God that has given me so much.  A wonderful husband and the most perfect little gift of all.  A baby born with birth defects that I can not see.  He is beautiful and perfect.  He is amazing.  I guess I see Carter how God views me, perfect.  I am just so in love with this little angel God has given me.  I hope that no one that reads this ever feels the way I use to feel.  I would never ask for a pitty party. I only want your prayer for my little boy.  He is my world.  Without him my arms would be empty and my heart not whole.  With the Christmas season fast approaching I ask for continued prayer for my little man. I want to thank each of you, some of you I will never meet, for praying for Carter.  Your prayers are working and I am extremely thankful to each of you.

I finally had a chance to sit down and look at Carter's one year pictures.  So of course I had to put some of the on here!  Thank you flutterby photography!