Ready for this to be a Memory...

Today has been another hard day for Carter.  He has started withdrawing from the strong medication they put him on last week.  They are giving him medications to help with the withdrawal process, but we have not found the right doses yet.  Last night got so rough that they stopped the weaning process of the medication.  Carter excessively started rubbing his face, gagging and wiggling.  He is still not suppose to move right now.  He was up most of the night.  We are praying we can start weaning the strong medication again tonight or in the morning.  We know the longer he is on the medication the harder it will be for him to get off of it.  Carter is still receiving a ton of sedation and pain medications and now medications to help with the withdrawal process. He will eventually have to withdraw from the medications he is now receiving, but they will not be as bad as what he is going through right now. The hardest part is he is not suppose to move.  Try telling a 2 1/2 year old who just had a HUGE surgery and is withdrawing that he has to continue to lay still and flat on his back.  It's IMPOSSIBLE!

It is so hard to watch Carter go through all of this right now.  I just want to pick him up and hold him.  I am positive he would not need half of the medication he is receiving right now if I could hold him.  I sleep in a reclining chair beside Carter's bed and usually hold his hand or place my hand over his chest all night, so that he is comfortable enough to sleep.  Around 3 am last night I passed out.  Carter's nurse came in around 3:30 and accidentally woke Carter up trying to get his vital signs.  She said he started to get scared and then looked over at me.  She said he just stared at me for about 5 minutes.  He then scooted with all of his might to get as close to me as possible.  It brought tears to her eyes and she had to wake me up to tell me.  It's moments like that, that keep us going.  Carter is not acting like himself right now, but we know he is still our sweet little boy.

We can still see the light at this very long tunnel and know there is still HOPE.  God has a bigger plan than I could ever imagine.  This is by far the hardest part of Carter's Journey this far.  Today marks 4 weeks of being in Baltimore and we are ready to head south!!! We are ready for all of this to be just a memory! Please continue to pray for Carter.  Pray we will begin the weaning process of the strong medication again and for Carter's little body to tolerate it.  We are so thankful for all of your prayers.  We are so happy we are loved and Carter is not being forgotten.  As always...To Him be the Glory!!!