Love each day..
Having Carter has changed my life drastically. Most of you probably don't know that I hold Carter most of the night and sleep. Yes, you read it right I hold him. He is just a little rotten. We used to always say we wouldn't spoil our kids, but now we thank God each and every day for the opportunity to spoil and make this boy as rotten as possible.
Before Carter was born we were told how tough it would be. That there is a much higher divorce rate in couples with special needs children(I still have a hard time with the idea that Carter has special needs). I am here to say that the word tough is an understatement! The worst pain in the world is for your child to be hurting and yelling out mama, knowing there is not a thing in this world you can do. It's not only a mental, but physical pain. Pain that makes you sick to your stomach. Those are the times I would like to do more than spit on the devil. They are the times I want to scream, yell, and curse. Although, I have learned over the past few months it does no good. I think it just gives the devil another opportunity to creep into your life. I have learned more self control. I have learned to breathe and say a prayer. A prayer where I specifically ask God for help. Ask him for what it is Carter's little body needs. The hardest part of all of this is that Carter is 100% neurologically normal. He is a normal 17 month old trapped into a not so normal body. he is not at the age where he understands what is going on, but he recognizes where he's at.
Over the past 17 months Carter's journey has taken us places we never thought we would go. It has allowed us to feel feelings we never knew existed. It has shaken us to our core. It has taught us to love one another in ways we never did before. It has taught us to rely on Jesus more than we ever knew was possible, but most of all it has shown us the power of our almighty God. He is an awesome God. He created Carter perfectly and one day his little body will catch up. We are constantly adding new experiences to this journey and we are about to add many more. We hope to travel to Cincinnati Children's Hospital later this week or next week. Our surgeon is currently working with them doing all of the preliminary procedures. We are expecting to do a medical transfer and I have to say we are looking forward to it. We are completely ready to figure out what is going on with Carter. There are so many unanswered questions and things we do not understand right now. We are thriving knowing God created Carter just the way he is and he knows exactly what he needs. We are extremely thankful Carter is doing so much better as far as pain is concerned. I am asking for all of you to continue to pray for Carter. Pray for wisdom for all of his care givers and guidance for Brandon and I. Although we may not always understand, we know his plan is perfect. To him be the glory!