His Timing is Perfect...
Whew! I know most of you thought that no news would be good news. I honestly wish that was the case. Right now God has other plans. Carter has continued to stay extremely agitated. The poor baby just wants up out of the bed! Yesterday afternoon they decided to try a drug called Ketamine. Well, Carter did NOT like Ketamine. He started hallucinating, got extremely scared and was just not himself. He did not recognize Brandon or myself unless we talked to him. He was belligerent, and it was extremely scary for Brandon and I. He was immediately given increased doses of Ativan and a drug known as Midazolam, to help with the hallucinations and hopefully decrease the effects of the medication. They have not really helped. Carter was up every 1-2 hours moving all over the bed last night. He would go from screaming (not crying) to laughing. He has so many medications on board that he is not thinking clearly. We just talked with the PICU Doctor and he said the next step would be to put Carter on the ventilator and completely knock him out. The main concern we have about this is if they will be able to give Carter enough medication to knock him out. He is on so much right now that he should be in a coma and he is wide awake kicking and moving all over the bed. At this point, Brandon and I just want him comfortable and to be able to rest. Right now he is miserable and agitated.
I would be lying if I said that it is not tough right now. I am sure some of you can sense my frusturation in my writing right now. I am reminded that God did not say it was going to be easy, and he never said we would have a fairy-tale type of life here on earth. The one thing he did say is that this is temporary. I know that full and well and I am extremely grateful for it! We are completely broken right now. Our hearts are torn and our souls are hurt. We know God's plan is perfect and we are just waiting on his timing. I took a long shower today and prayed for patience and for God to let me see just a little glimpse of my little boy. When I walked back into the room Carter was extremely agitated and kicking. After a lot of medication, he calmed down. I sat down in my chair beside his bed. He looked over at me, grabbed my hand and gave me a big, sweet Carter smile. It brought tears to my eyes and I knew it was God telling me it was going to be ok. We are faithfully waiting on God, and we know his timing is perfect. Nothing else matters right now. We just want our little boy back. We want to make the right decisions in his treatment that will not hinder him with long-term side effects. Please continue to pray for Carter. Pray for healing, rest and for him to stay still or asleep. Pray for the team of Doctors and Brandon and I to make the right steps in his care, for them to not cause him long-term issues, and for him to come out of all of this the happy, healthy baby he entered it. Thank you all so much for all of your prayers and love for our family. It is truly keeping us going right now. As always... To Him be the Glory!!!
LORD my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. Psalm 30:2
I have to say a HUGE thank you to Patti Bryant, Jennifer Salter and Kimberly Moore. They put together a huge fundraiser for us. Even in the pouring rain they surpassed their goal. I know it took a lot of time and effort and we are extremely grateful. I also want to say a big thank you to each and everyone of you that ordered a hamburger or helped during the fundraiser! I know a lot of you took off work and stood in the cold pouring rain to help with the fundraiser. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!