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I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

Admitted Again...

I am currently sitting in a hospital room at Johns Hopkins rocking my sweet Carter. He is hurting, confused and so sad. I am fighting back tears that have built up through the day. My heart is hurting, my head is spinning and I am ready to wake up from this nightmare.  We know God has a perfect plan, but it is not always easy to see. Right now my head is spinning so much it is hard to see His plan. We are all completely exhausted and ready to find out that this really isn't happening. 

We were very unprepared for the events that have recently unfolded. Carter has been doing so well the past few days that we just imagined we would have a sweet and short visit at Johns Hopkins. Carter had his first appointment yesterday with Orthopedics. His casts were removed and everything looked good. After his casts were removed, we went to visit another very sweet Cloacal Exstrophy family in the hospital (first highlight of our trip). During our visit with them Carter was extremely fussy and vomited several times. I brushed it off as him being sore from his cast removal. He had not been able to freely move his legs since March. The fussiness kept on. Once we arrived at our hotel I changed Carter's diaper and noticed bright red blood. I could also see metal protruding through his surgical incision. His incision was also trying to come open a little further up from where the metal was showing. I gathered my thoughts and called Carter's urologist. After sending him pictures, he told us to just come see him the next morning(today), or come to the ER if the bleeding increased. He didn't seem too concerned. I again brushed it off thinking maybe I was over reacting. We met one of Carter's PICU nurses for dinner (second highlight of our trip). Carter continued to be fussy and slept on and off. He was up several times throughout the night crying out in pain. I gave him extra pain medication all night. This morning we woke up, and we headed to our appointment. Our Urologist still did not seem too concerned. That was until he looked at what I was concerned about. He immediately called Carter's orthopedic Doctor and worked on getting Carter admitted to the hospital. 

The plate they placed 12 weeks ago to hold Carter's pelvis together has eroded. This has caused one of the four screws holding it in place to pull out of the bone. The screw is what I can visibly see. They think it eroded weeks ago. When the cast were removed, Carter was able to open his legs and the plate shifted. This caused the screw to pull out of the bone. So what does this mean? We are not completely sure right now. Carter is going to surgery first thing in the morning.  It just depends on what they find. Sometimes they can just remove the screw and the bones are strong enough to stay in place. Sometimes they have to place another screw which will require Carter to have to have external fixators again. Meaning he will have to lay flat on his back again for atleast 6 weeks. This means we will not be able to hold him again for another 6 weeks. We are praying this does not happen. We are praying it is as simple as removing a screw and stitching his incision back together. 

We were so unprepared for all of this.  Today has been full of chaos and confusion. The hospital is full so our Urologist was unable to directly admit Carter. We ended up having to go through the Emergency Department. Carter has been stuck multiple times for an I.V. All of which were unsuccesful. We are praying they will be able to get an I.V. or PICC line during surgery tomorrow. Our hearts are breaking for Carter. He is in pain and so confused. He has been so good through everything. He only winced after being stuck over and over by different people trying to get an I.V. He does not want to be back in the hospital, and neither do we.  Carter's little body is completely exhausted. I am not writing all of this for you to feel sorry for us or to pity us. I am writing it for you to pray for us. Pray for strength for Brandon and myself, but especially for Carter. Pray for a quick and easy surgery tomorrow. Pray he does not have to have external fixators again. Pray he does not go through those PICU doors. 

Today was one of those days you catch yourself looking up saying Hey! Hey God! Can you hear me? God please. Please we have had enough. I think you may have the wrong person God. I'm not this strong. I can't do this. Then you hear this tiny whisper saying "Yes, you are. I chose you for a reason. Hang in there, relax! You know I have got this!"

We know God has a plan. We know His plan is perfect. It is just really rocky right now. We are ready to have our child back. We are ready for him to enjoy life out of the hospital. He has been through so much that I am not sure how much more his little body can take. Please continue to pray for him. Pray for a successful surgery, easy I.V. Access and for Brandon and I to hold on as God's plan unfolds. As always... To Him be the Glory!!!

24 comments:

  1. Meagan, Brandon, and Carter, My heart is breaking for you as you endure another setback in Carter's recovery. Only God knows why this is happening and we may never understand it all. Continue to lean on God and His strength to get you through this next hurdle. Praying for the doctor's, nurses and all involved with his surgery tomorrow.
    Mack & Dee Kennedy

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  2. May the surgery tomorrow be success...I know this can be discouraging. You have leaned on the Lord all this time and yet again, you must keep on. God Bless!!

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  3. This breaks my heart. I am praying for you all. I hope things are best case scenario tomorrow and you are able to go home soon.

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  4. I found out about Carter's story on Facebook. I'm praying for little Carter, you & your husband. Hang in there, God will see you through this.

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  5. I'm praying. I know He hears us and we trust in Him. He is watching over all of us. I'm not good with words but God doesn't need fancy words. He has Carter in his hands. Just know I'm praying for Carter.

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  6. I've never met you, your family or your son, but I've become so attached to all of you while following your journey. I'm in awe of your strength, your faith, your bravery and honesty. Carter and his story have inspired many of us readers - and we all are rooting for him and know he will come out of this with his beautiful smile as well. May you all be blessed.

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  7. Dear Meagan, Brandon and Carter: I've never met any of you, but I've been following your journey and I have been praying for strength for all of you. Your faith has been teaching me a lot. I am a mom of a little boy too and my heart aches for Carter. Carter journey has inspired me and so many other readers. We believe he will come out of this in the name of Jesus! Sending a lot of blessing your way....

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  8. Megan,Brandon & Carter - sending prayers for all of you. I truly believe that God has all of you firmly in his grip. May today God send you a blessing for each star in the sky. God choose well when he gave you the gift of Carter.

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  9. Praying for you all.

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  10. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit....Romans 15:13

    Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint....Isaiah 40:31

    Oh, how this news breaks my heart for each of you. When I first heard yesterday that Carter would have surgery again this morning my first reaction was...OK, God, enough! How much more do you think they can handle? They've barely had enough time to catch their breath from the last several chapters......then I remembered....Oh, yea, He is a really BIG God and if this is the direction the story has to take then who am I to question the plot line. He is, after all, the author of every breath.....praying for all involved to be covered in a cloak of supernatural strength.

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  11. Sweet family I do not know you but I admire you for reaching out for prayer. I am praying for another baby boy on FB. I do pray that God give you strength & wisdom to care for your sweet baby boy. I pray for carter to endure this surgery & come out much better. I pray for all medical staff that takes care of Carter needs to be bathed in pray so they can do their joy with God's healing hands. In Jesus Name , Amen

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  12. My heart is breaking for Carter and both of you. May God in His infinite wisdom grant all of you strength and comfort during this most difficult time. I pray that the surgery goes well and that Carter does not have to go to PICU again.

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  13. Praying for you all

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  14. Praying diligently for you guys!! May the God of all hope and comfort and peace reside within, beside, before and behind you. He who calls the stars out by name holds you in His mighty right hand!! Love and prayers from McComb, MS!!

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  15. Praying for y'all like never before!

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  16. Praying for all of the things you mentioned in your post. God is in control. I can only imagine the pain and emotional stress you are all going through right now. I pray for success and no fixators in the surgery. I pray for comfort and peace for you all to continue on this journey. I pray for rest for I know that you are all weary. God will continue to bless you all even when you feel the darkness He is still there. Carla Nations

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  17. Praying for all of you, Meagan. I'm so impressed with you, for your Love, Strength and Faith in Heavenly Father and your family. What a wonderful testimony you have, thank you for sharing Carters story and keeping us updated and letting us have this opportunity of being able to help with our Prayers. Carter's journey and your words of Faith and Prayer will help and strengthen others. God Bless!

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  18. Meagan, Brandon and sweet Carter, my first thought yesterday was can you all not get a break from all of this! My heart is breaking for the pain and confusion for sweet Carter. I can only continue to pray for you all as you all endure this again.
    take care

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  19. prayers being sent your way for sure! although my daughter is 17 now and those days are far behind, I can still remember how hard it all was, but I want to tell you that while you are deep in the midst of it now, there is another side to things and once you are through all of this, those hospital days will be a distant memory far behind a thousand other beautiful happy times to follow:) and those will be the prominent memories that build his childhood....the happy ones. in the first years it seems like that will be their whole lives, all those doctors and medical tests, but we know so many of these kids and once the initial surgeries are done life does go on and they live happy lives that are not full of needles and doctors appointments! hang in there and find comfort where you can, and know that better days are coming and they far outnumber these tough ones you must get through first. we will keep you in our thoughts and hold you in our prayers for sure!

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  20. I will be praying for all of you, and get other people to pray also, may God give you the strength to go thru this trial, and give Carter's body more strength, so he can go thru whatever he is facing now, with flying colors. My heart goes out to all of you.

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  21. Praying for peace and strength for you, your husband and Carter.

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  22. May God bless all of you and rest his hands upon Carter and help him through yet another crisis. Prayers being sent to all of you especially little Carter.

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  23. Oh. I just cried. For you, for Brandon, for carter. Tears of frustration and of doubt. Why is His plan so hard to understand at times? But Carter has strengthened my faith. He is destined for great things. He is a valiant warrior and God is his shield...fighting for and with him. I will pray for healing. God be with you.

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  24. Praying for Carter and family!!

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