I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

The Rollercoaster...

The past few weeks have been full of ups and downs. Carter's pain and
personality have been an absolute rollercoaster. One minute he is sitting up in
bed playing and the next he is screaming in pain. Since Carter's incision
dehisced (came open) he has started having bladder spasms. They are extremely
painful and just come and go. They tend to be worse at night, which has caused
MANY restless nights. The spasms have also led to Carter having to take Valium
for pain. Neither Morphine or Oxycocodone touch the pain. It breaks my heart for
him to have to take Valium. He hates the initial feeling and becomes very
irrational and slightly combative for the first five minutes or so. I am very
thankful there is a medication to help his pain, but I just do not like that
it's Valium.

I guess you can call Carter's last surgery a failure. He is still vomiting and
unable to tolerate feeds. They started feeding him two days ago and tried to
increase his feeds yesterday. Carter did the same thing he has done since
September. He started vomiting formula within two hours. Carter vomits all of
the time, even without being fed. They are almost positive his stomach is not
working, but they were just hoping his intestines would function and we could
worry about his stomach once he got off of IV nutrition. Our surgeon and GI
Doctors are not sure what to do at this time. They have decided that for now we
will continue to feed him at a very low rate and just wait to see if his
intestines "wake up".  We have not discussed any further plans at this time.

Dealing with all of this has become absoluletly exhausting! It's so hard to keep
allowing them to do the same tests over and over only to have the same results.
We know God has a much larger plan than we can imagine, but it's just not always
easy especially when it involves your child. We are ready for answers or just a
sign that he is getting better. It hurts so bad to watch him go through all of
this and I can not imagine all of the pain he is going through. Sorry for being
so negative. We have been dealing with this for 6 months now and Carter tends to
be getting worse. I think exhaustion has set in for all of us. On a more
positive note Brandon is coming back up this Sunday and we are very excited to
see him. Carter misses his Daddy and I miss my Husband! Please continue to pray
for Carter. Pray for strength, energy and for Carter's bowels and stomach to
WAKE UP! Thank you all so much for all of your outpouring of love for our
family! We could NOT get through any of this with out all of you!

Enjoying his new toy from the hospital!


  1. I am so so sorry for Baby Carter and for his parents to be going through so much unanswered problems, one right after the other. I and Marley will continue to pray for each and everyone and that God will put his healing hands down on Baby Carter and give him a little shove just to wake everything up and it all start to work. Keep continuing to be a wonderful, daughter, husband, and mother. You are a wonderful person inside and out.

  2. My Prayer for you, Megan-
    May God grant you strength to get up each day and peace to be able to rest each night.
    My Prayer for Carter-
    May God put his loving arms around Carter, embrace him, take his pain away and heal his precious little body. Amen.

  3. So sorry
    Could the nurses maybe look after Carter for an hour or two, so you could get out of the hospital with your husband? I find my perspective changes once I get a break and I've only had much shorter times than you in hospital with my boy.

  4. Meagan,
    You probably don't know me but your mom was so special to me when I was a little girl and your grandaddy and my father in law use to be buddies and go rabbit hunting together. I can't imagine how your heart aches. I have seen more faith in the sweet words of your blog and you, your family and Carter's journey have touched my life in a way I could never put into words. I know God doesn't make mistakes and He chose you to be his mother for a very special reason. Carter continues on our prayer list at our church in Benton and prayers for him continue in our home. Praying for answers, for rest and peace as you wait.
    The Granberrys

  5. Megan, I wonder if Carter could have Baclofen instead of Valium? It's so much more benign than the Valium.

  6. Meagan,

    This is Karla Mullins, Ryan Ashley's sister (Zach's friend). I know we have met before when Ryan and Zach were smaller so it has been a while. I read your blog all the time and run into your mom from time to time and I just wanted to let you know that Carter is in our prayers daily along with you and Brandon :) I can't even begin to imagine the feelings you have but please know that Carter is such a BLESSING from above and God will carry him through this difficult time! You and Brandon are wonderful parents and and my whole family is praying for healing, strength, & guidance. You sound like such a strong person that has lots of Faith in God and I that is so wonderful :) Thanks for keeping all of us updated and please know you are all in our prayers!!!